Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Big Time

I'm told that being a powerful and influential member of the new media is a gateway to all kinds of free swag. Marketers bombard you with product samples, review copies of every sort, giveaways...it's a never ending stream of freebies.

At least one company has now recognized Propnomicon as a true trendsetter and opinion shaper.

Them: Hello, we're a large internet retailer and we would like to do a giveaway with you. After careful study we've determined your audience would love our products.

Me: Great! What did you have in mind?

Them: We'd like to have a contest, and the prize is awesome- enameled cast iron cookware with a value of $75!

Me: Er...uh...cookware? Don't get me wrong, I love quality cookware, but it's not something the blog really focuses on. To be honest, the subject of cookware hasn't come up once. Have you actually, you know, looked at the blog? How about giving away a copy of the "Arkham Horror" game? It's available through your storefront.

Them: That wouldn't be a good promotional giveaway. Your audience is more interested in high quality cookware.

Sadly, I had to pass on this wonderful promotional opportunity. Heh.

Update: Damn, I just remembered there actually is some Lovecraftian "cookware"- the lead vessels used to hold the essential salts in "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward". I could have mined this for some real comedy gold.


TotusMel said...

Ha! I get those all the time, for things like home lighting and rugs...*sigh*

christian lehmann said...

It's nice to be recognized by such eldritch entities ;-)

DerKork said...

I think it might have been a good idea to ask if that cookware's big enough to put a great old one into...

Just in case someone wants some "Stew of Cthulhu".

PhilO said...

Dang, I've really been looking for a nice set of quality, Eldritch cookware.

elmo iscariot said...

Aww... I could'a had enameled cookware?

Propnomicon said...

@ TotusMel

Do they just shotgun offers like that to any blog that passes a particular threshold of readers? A little Googling showed that the company in question has done hundreds of giveaways like this in the last month, most for cookware.

Why they wouldn't want to give away the one product in their inventory that would actually be of interest to Propnomicon's audience is beyond me.

@ christian lehmann

Just one of the benefits of being a cultist. Heh.

@ DerKork

I should have asked if they had any cold iron blades and dragged on the exchange as long as possible before revealing I wanted one for killing supernatural creatures.

@ PhilO

I know the feeling. Trying to get the measurements right when you're dealing with non-Euclidean cookware is a hassle. My last batch of space mead was ruined by too little Byakhee essence because I didn't compensate for the three extra dimensions.

@elmo escariot

Sadly, the only Lovecraftian "cookware" I know of are the lead vessels in "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward". I understand they impart a sweet, slightly metallic flavor to food that's actually quite enjoyable...until it drives you mad.

Twitch said...

It could of worked as a give away, going to the person with the best prop idea to turn the cookware into.

Really cookware? I know sometimes the things I cook can best be described as an unspeakable horror.. but still.

I know I'd rather have the Arkham Horror game than cookware, even if the cookware costs more.

Robert Olmstead said...

You miss an opportunity I think

Look at that link:


Lovecraftian iron cookware are the future !!!


Gabriel said...


Don't they know that Deep Ones and Cultists eat their fish raw so therefore require no cookware?

Lord Auron said...

Also, sometimes you want cookware to melt things and cook things for making props, but do not want to mess up your good cookware.

CoastConFan said...

If you want to get eaten first, you need some really good cookware.

LoneIslander said...

*facepalm* Cookware, really?

Petrograd said...

Hey, don't knock yourself. Propnomicon is probably the internet's premier advertiser of mail-order portable cookware and camp stoves of the 1920's and 30's.

I'm sure you'd be seeing plenty of revenue if any of those firms still existed, and still offered folding expedition carbines for $10.