Monday, January 4, 2016

Peak Cthulhu: The Stars Are Right

It was bound to happen eventually.  For decades Cthulhu was an obscure literary icon known to only a handful of devotees initiated into the mysteries of the Mythos.  Knowledge of the Great Old One was essentially viral, spreading via direct physical contact with existing fans and occasionally through the letter columns of certain outre publications.  Even then, infection was unlikely.  It might take multiple exposures to the Mythos before it took hold of the victim's mind, forcing them to scour second hand bookstores for forgotten tomes.  Sometimes, despite multiple exposures, it just never took.

Now, years later, the world is a much different place.  Lovecraft's creation has become so ubiquitous that "Lovecraftian" is an eagerly embraced marketing term used by all kinds of dreck, from comics to movies.  In the span of a single generation Cthulhu has gone from being a figure of cosmic dread and horror to a punchline, a kind of hipster Satan.

In short, we've reached Peak Cthulhu.  The Mythos, and Cthulhu in particular, has reached it's maximum level of cultural penetration.  The first signs that total saturation was approaching were visible on Etsy, where an ever growing army of crafters were cranking out Cthulhu hats, cozies, plushies, slippers, purses, earrings, and all manner of ill-conceived geegaws.

But that, my friends, was just a taste of the true horror.

We've gone far, far beyond that.

Even as we speak there are entire factories in China dedicated to mass producing Cthulhu merchandise.  Swag that, amazingly, will then get resold around the world as quirky, handmade Cthulhu cuteness.

Behold...Peak Cthulhu*.


 These disturbing Cthulhu slippers come to us from the Yiwu United Crafts Co. of Zhejiang, China.  They're eager to provide you with up to 1,000,000 pairs of these...a month.


Or the ever popular Cthulhu ski mask from the Qingdao Ever Fortune Industrial Co., Ltd. of Shandong. Need a pallet or two of hideously machine knitted hipness? No problem! Why, they'd be happy to send you an entire shipping container of these...things.




*"Peak Cthulhu" will be featuring all sorts of horrifically bad Cthulhu merchandise.  Much of it will be items available for import from Chinese sweatshops, but I reserve the right to include the best of Etsy.  And by "best of" I mean the most appallingly craptacular junk.


10 comments:

Phil said...

It is rather appalling isn't it? Even the Lovecraft Historical Society Facebook group I belong to has it's share of wacky cuteness. I try to do my share to counter it though by posting pics of my props, or links to proper mythos stories.

I confess I've only fallen for it once with a handmade "Cabbage Patch Cthuhlu". In my defence though, this was at a Worldcon back in '86 when such things were still unique and clever. He was my convention companion for quite a few years and still sits on a shelf. I'd never buy one of these current mass produced things.

Charles said...

Poor Cthulhu, he's become the Hello Kitty of the elder gods...

Charles said...

That could be the hidden plan -hundreds of sweat shop workers at sewing machines like mechanized altars being fed by their sweat and blood....

Raven said...

Hey! It's not April!

Ann said...

But gotta admit I rather liked the "C is for Cthulu" children's book.
http://www.amazon.com/Is-Cthulhu-Lovecraft-Alphabet-Book/dp/0983068984

Raven said...

@ Charles : "...he's become the Hello Kitty of the elder gods..."

You've seen the Hello Cthulhu webcomic, right?

Nick Storm said...

The masses NEED cute. Their mundane, trivial existence demands succor. A ton of people are already tottering on the edge of insanity - for reelz. Cute Cthulhu is actually SAVING people's sanity. Go figure THAT !

affliction said...

Is now the time? Maybe we can lead the shift towards recognition of Yog-Sothoth. I am by no means the originator of this idea. They has been a push towards acknowledgement of The Key and The Gate for some time now...
Anybody got a lead - I think the west coast has a few lodges. Who will join?
I must get working on a new prop. It will be three story, iridescent cluster of rotating, expanding and contracting spheres powered by drones and helium - though, darn, it won't fit on my desk and interdimensional shipping is expensive!

Raven said...

@ affliction :

Try commissioning something from Dale Chihuly, much of whose work already suggests underwater sealife to me. (He did the glasswork for the Atlantis Hotel in the Bahamas, like the "Temple of the Sun" and the "Sun Glass" chandelier.)

Dogstar said...

I guess the star were right.