They Bite

From artist Noira, an intimidating watch fob crafted from goblin teeth. Made from jewelry findings and custom sculpted teeth cast in dental acrylic.

The Best Call of Cthulhu Supplement Ever

I just started going through a complete ten-volume set of encyclopedias from 1922 that I scored on Ebay. This has to be, without exception, the single most valuable purchase of Mythos-related reference material I've ever made. In one handy package you get a complete atlas of the world of the 1920's, a guidebook to the latest scientific and technological developments, hundreds of pictures and engravings, and a downright amazing prop that looks awesome on your game room bookshelf.

How much did it cost? Less than the Call of Cthulhu RPG rules and a single supplement . Encyclopedia sets from the 20's and 30's regularly go for $30-$70 on Ebay, which is a pittance for the amount of carefully researched period information you're getting. Even better, letting players pull a volume off the shelf and look up relevant articles is incredibly immersive.

I was lucky enough to find "Winston's Cumulative Loose-Leaf Encyclopedia", a post-bound set that allowed subscribers to update entries just by swapping in new pages for the old. Once I find a decent match for the paper I'll be able to add entries specifically customized for the adventure at hand whenever I want. The possibilities that opens up are endless.

The Mark of the Elder Gods

Shane Mangus breaks out the Sculpey and whips up some Mythos sigils for the tabletop.

Vintage French Adventure Gear

Kurt Hockenbury sent over a link to Agence Eureka, a French blog specializing in vintage ephemera. One feature of particular interest is a wonderful collection of scans from French outdoors catalogs from the classic era.





Most of the pages appear to be from a 1931 mailer filled with lanterns, tents, traveling trunks, goggles, bicycles, clothing, optics, and a veritable arsenal of firearms. One can only imagine the kind of mischief a typical investigator could cause with one of these massive duck guns:

Arkham Historical Society Postcard

Only in Lovecraft's world would a quaint building like the Arkham Historical Society be such a valuable resource in the fight against eldritch horrors. To produce the finished prop, click through to download the high resolution files and then:

1. Print the front image on cardstock and trim it to 4" X 6".
2. Adjust your printer document size to 4" by 6", flip over your trimmed card, and print the back side.
3. Apply stamp.
4. Run the back side of the card through the printer again to apply the postmark.

Optionally, you can follow that up with a rubdown with fine sandpaper along the corners and edges, then apply a light wash of tea to age the finished postcard.

Postcard front:



Postcard back:



Postmark:

Miskatonic Abroad

From Robbert Folmer comes yet more proof that the graduates of Miskatonic University roam the world. This snapshot was taken on a bridge over the Nieuwe Gracht in Haarlem, the Netherlands.



Mr. Folmer was kind enough to send me this picture last November, and I promptly forgot about it in my painkiller induced haze.

Pickled

This disturbing bit of bottled nastiness is brought to us by "skulpturro".

The Mystery Of Brockett's Bridge

This has absolutely nothing to do with propmaking, so feel free to skip over it if you're here for the goodies.

One of the features of Lovecraft's works I enjoy the most is his conscious effort to blend the mundane details of the real world with the fantastic. The monstrous experiments of Joseph Curwen in "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" are all the more remarkable because of the believable historical background the story is built on. In the case of "At the Mountains of Madness", the slow reveal of the details behind the Miskatonic expedition to the Antarctic make the discovery of the city under the ice even more shocking.

I bring this up because one of Lovecraft's most fantastic stories takes place just minutes from my home here in upstate New York. What makes this particular tale so intriguing is that it starts as a short, non-fiction account of a dream, turns into a detective story, and then barrels along into reincarnation, mysterious disappearances, government coverups, and a crashed alien spacecraft. And it's all absolutely true.

I present to you "The Mystery of Brockett's Bridge". It will take some time to work through all the articles, but if you enjoy high weirdness it's well worth the effort. And before anyone asks, no, this isn't the starting point for an ARG. Although the material sure as heck would lend itself to that kind of thing.

Start off with "1864: ROSWELL IN UPSTATE NEW YORK?" by Joseph Trainor, from the December 9, 1999 issue of "UFO Roundup". Just scroll down to find the article.

After that, read "1997: CHEAP DETECTIVE", from the December 16, 1999 issue of "UFO Roundup".

Then tackle "THE MYSTERY OF BROCKETT’S BRIDGE DEEPENS", from the May 20, 2006 issue of "UFO Roundup".

You may be interested to know that the next town over from Dolgeville is Fairfield, NY. At least one of the town's residents, a professor at Barnett College, is rumored to have some experience with mysteries of this nature.

Update: Mr. Trainor speculates that the strange body parts featured in Lovecraft's dream may be from aliens fallen from the heavens. I would humbly suggest he's looking in the wrong direction.

One of the interesting things about Dolgeville is it's unique geology featuring discontinuous layers of limestone and shale, the result of a massive fold in the earth's crust. The place is absolutely riddled with interlinked caves that have never been completely mapped, and no one knows just how deep they might go. Several springs in the surrounding hills flow into natural sinkholes and simply vanish under the earth. Despite extensive dye testing no surface outlet for that water has ever been found.

Given the subterranean secrets of Lovecraft's works I think it's possible that creatures from beneath the earth, not aliens from space, were the source of Dr. Chester's mysterious blue bits.

Magnetized

From Chris Tucker, a Miskatonic Antarctic expedition sticker turned into a refrigerator magnet.



One of the delights of my life is seeing my stuff out in the wild, so to speak.

Cthulhu Fhtagn! Propnomicon Edition

A blast from the past, from the collection of Nick Storm.

This is a Cthulhu idol I put together over a decade ago, sometime around 1998. At the time I was living in New Bedford, MA and was involved in making small props for a murder mystery dinner theater group. I say "put together" as opposed to sculpted because it was assembled using parts from toys, in particular the body of the "Horrid" dragon from McFarlane toys and the head of an Admiral Ackbar 12-inch figure from Hasbro. Considering there was only a week available to finish the project it turned out surprisingly well.





Update: An emailer suggests that it would be almost impossible to create one of these today, at least on the cheap, because of the new lead testing standards for toys. Under the law every toy designed for children has to be tested for the presence of lead before it can be sold. Thrift stores, among them the Salvation Army, have opted to throw donated action figures into the trash rather than deal with the hassle of re-selling them. That leaves venues like Ebay as the only source of donor toys.

The Arkham Seal, Part Four

I have to stop fiddling with it sometime, so here's the final version of the Arkham town seal. At least for now. Click through for the high resolution version, sized at 1.5" at 300 DPI. I've left it intentionally grainy so it can be used as-is for a stamp. If you want to incorporate it into a document, increasing the contrast and shrinking it slightly will make it look like it came off a printing plate.



Update: Raven put together a handy comparison of the three different takes on the seal by himself, Andrew Leman, and myself. Scroll down to see it in Wednesday's post, or just click here. Seeing them side by side gives you a real chance to appreciate how much alike, yet very different they are. A veritable Neapolitan ice cream of Mythos miscellany! Heh.

The Wadginski Vampire Kit

Ken Wadginski collected antiques his entire life, and one of the gems for sale after his death was this period vampire hunting kit. The artisan that crafted it appears to have made sure the corked containers have an actual seal, something that the current crop of faux kits almost invariably ignore.



The Antique Trader article about the estate sale has this to say about the kit:

The vampire killing kit was made around the early 1900s, Stevens estimates. It contains four stakes, crosses, mirrors, guns with silver bullets, potions, vials, herbs, medicines, holy water and garlic. In October, Stevens Auction sold another, earlier vampire kit (circa 1800) for $14,850.

This part reads like it was lifted right out of a horror film:

But by the time Wadginski arrived in the mid-1960s, that business had already shut down and there was little left, save for the buildings and history of the town. Hollow Rock was named, legend has it, after a meteor that crashed there hundreds of years ago. The space rock, which was in fact hollow, today still has inscriptions that were carved by the Native Americans who live in the region at the time.

The second someone told me the town was named after a hollow meteorite covered with strange native inscriptions, and that the rock was still around, I would have politely told my real estate agent to cross that location off the list. Years of watching B-movies has taught me it's just a matter of time till whatever was inside starts wreaking havoc.

The Arkham Seal, Part Three And A Half

The incredibly talented Andrew Leman of the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society left a note on the earlier discussion of the Arkham seal that I wanted to draw attention to.

The HPLHS has been at work on an Arkham seal as well, and I've just updated our site with that addition and an update to the Arkham Library Card PDF, as previously promised. Although our seal looks different (and borrows from different sources), it contains many of the same concepts and the two are quite compatible. Both feature agriculture, shipping, and a nod to Miskatonic.

Mr. Leman's interpretation of the seal, and the downloadable library card featuring it, is available over here at the HPLHS website.

Raven, another talented Mythos fan and frequent contributor here, has another take on the seal over here. There's an in-depth discussion of the symbolism and details of it in this discussion thread on Yog-Sothoth.

I love comparing how three different people drawing on the same resources can create similar, but unique interpretations of the same item. I've said before that Mr. Leman was one of the primary inspirations for this site, and his excellent work speaks for itself. Raven has graciously contributed a huge amount of printable paper items to the site, and his in-depth analysis of Mythos minutia has been invaluable.

Embarrassingly enough, I'm still mucking about with my own interpretation of the seal.

Update: Raven put together this very handy side by side comparison of the three seals.

The Streets Of San Francisco

"Dollar Bin" has uploaded a beautiful high resolution scan of a 1925 San Francisco street map to Flickr. One of the reasons I enjoy Lovecraft's work so much is that it gives me an excuse to delve into the ephemera of the 20's and 30's. A map like this is a wonderful prop for a Mythos or Pulp fan, but it's a work of art in it's own right.

The Twisted Tale Of The Television Tome

The incredibly talented Dave Lowe has a great post on the massive prop tome he created for the Nickelodeon show "BrainSurge". It's a shining example of a visually impressive item created with simple, low cost materials.

The book had to be very large, but still very easy to lift and handle, so I made it from scratch with lightweight foamcore board. It's painted and finished using the same paper towel and Mod Podge method from my creepy old book how-to. Although it looks 500 pages thick, there are only 50 or 60 glued in sheets of thin drawing pad paper. I crumpled each page and loosely made flat again, so the book never really closes completely and has the illusion of thickness and weight. The pages were aged with brushed on coffee. The natural warping of the paper after drying also helps the illusion.

Ol' Skool Cthulhu

Congratulations to Shane Mangus for winning the Best Cthulhu category in the One Page Dungeon Contest. His triumphant entry, "Raid on Black Goat Wood", is available in PDF at his website.

The Arkham Seal, Part Three

I'm still not done fiddling about with it, but here's the official seal of Arkham as it stands.



The reason for the various elements, and their source:

The latin border text marks the year of Arkham's incorporation. It's taken directly from the phrasing used in Salem's seal, the acknowledged inspiration for Lovecraft's fictional city. As far as I can tell there are no canon sources for the date of incorporation, so I added two years to Salem's. Given that Arkham was founded shortly after Salem I thought it appropriate that it's incorporation follow suit.

The crown in the top of the inner circle references Arkham's founding as a plantation during the era of royal land grants. The graphic is taken from the town seal of Haverhill.

The ribbon and shield design is a common heraldic device used by a multitude of Massachusetts towns. The shield with three segments is based on the four segment shield in the Plymouth town seal.

The plow and sheaf of wheat in the upper left of the shield signifies Arkham's origin as an agricultural colony. The graphic is a retouched version of the sheaf and plow found in the Dover town seal.

The three masted schooner in the upper right references Arkham's seafaring history, primarily trade with the Indies. The image is a retouched version of the ship found in the seal of Falmouth.

The building at the base of a hill in the lower shield is a depiction of the academy (created by the Orne bequest) that would eventually become Miskatonic University. The school became the town's major economic engine after the Revolutionary War, a fact I believe the town fathers would find worthy of commemoration in the seal. The building itself is a retouched version of the meeting house in the Dover seal.

The two branches of greenery on either side of the shield are cranberry sprigs, inspired by the ones in the Falmouth seal. The pristine river valley where Arkham was founded surely had bogs filled with native cranberries. The sprig on the left, with it's branches and leaves forming Lovecraft's Elder Sign, is the only "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" element in the design.

I welcome your comments and suggestions.

Tribal Glyphs

This massive collection of glyphs was put together for a "Werewolf" LARP, but the sheer number and variety makes them a handy resource for all kinds of occult shenanigans.

Arkham Seal Update

No, I haven't abandoned the Arkham seal project. After taking some time to study the real world seals mentioned earlier I've started putting some rough concepts together. I should have something to show tomorrow, but the tedious process of matching up tone values and line widths from multiple sources is taking some time.

Faux Watermarks

A discussion on Yog-Sothoth on making watermarks jogged my memory of a technique I stumbled upon years ago.

1. Head to local big box store. Purchase one can of spray waterproofing in the footwear section and one light gauge plastic "For Sale" sign.

2. Laser print or photocopy document.

3. Cut a stencil of your intended watermark out of the "For Sale" sign. Place it on your paper and lightly apply the spray waterproofing, coating only the area with the watermark. Allow to dry.

3. Mist paper with the steam from a teapot. If you get too close to the mouth of the jet the heat may damage your inks, so hold your paper near the end of the visible plume. You just want to dampen the paper with the steam so the grain rises.

The steam will raise the grain of the paper except in the area that was waterproofed with the stencil. Tada! Instant watermark. Feel free to reverse the stenciling procedure if you want a raised watermark as opposed to an impressed one.

Silicone based products produce the best results, but any waterproofing spray (or even matte fixative) will work. You just need something that will keep the paper from absorbing any of the water vapor and swelling. The "watermark" will be notably shiny, but the application of some fine powder like charcoal dust or baking cocoa will tone it down.

Reinforcements

A photograph of United States Marines arriving in Innsmouth, Massachusetts on February 5th, 1928. Additional troops were brought in once the sheer number of prisoners captured during the February 3rd raid, and the necessity of moving them across country by train, became clear. Three coastal auxiliaries were used to shuttle in the relatively small contingent available from Norfolk to the Innsmouth pier. Those units accompanied naval military police and United States Marshals on the train ride to the prisoners' final internment facility.




This is a totally unretouched photograph from December of 1921 of troops offloading at the Marine Flying Field in Quantico, Virginia. In the real world, by 1928 the Marine contingent at Norfolk was an officer-heavy training command with just a few hundred men. Given the nature of the Innsmouth detainees it seems likely that guard duties for the train trip inland would have fallen on naval personnel, a few special agents from the Department of Justice, and US Marshals out of the Boston office.

The Unexpected Mythos

I dearly love stumbling across unusual objects that lend themselves to a Mythos interpretation. Case in point, this candlestick sent in by an anonymous reader:



At first glance it's just a tribal-style candle holder, the kind of thing you'd pick up on a trip to Africa or find on the shelves of Pier One. To anyone not familiar with the Mythos it's a perfectly mundane, if slightly unusual item. But look closer and you'll see the lobed head, clawed arms, and multiple limbs of Lovecraft's Mi-Go.

African tchotchke, or a Mi-Go summoning fetish? The fact that it could be either, depending on how you look at it, just adds to the charm. One of Lovecraft's best narrative devices was placing items with a darker meaning in plain sight, like the unusual gold jewelry of Innsmouth. To the average person they were just odd looking bracelets, but those familiar with the legends of the Deep Ones saw something far more sinister. Imitating that ambiguous approach can turn a simple found item into a truly memorable prop.

Tomes Of Mystery

Thanks to Raven, as always, for bringing The Biblionihilistica to my attention. Browse around and you'll find some wonderful examples of tomecraft, like this copy of the Codicil Coetus.

Deep One Bust

Artist Dave Grasso's take on the Innsmouth look.

Unknown Specimen

This photograph of the decapitated head of an unknown creature was allegedly taken in the small coastal town of Baclayon in the Phillipines in 2004. It was found floating in the ocean the day after an unannounced joint naval "exercise" involving the Royal Navy, United States Navy, and Phillipine Navy. The only ships identifiable by observers on shore were BRP Emilio Jacinto (PS-35), BRP Apolinario Mabini (PS-36), and multiple patrol craft from the Philippine navy. Witnesses reported a deep rumbling coming from the ocean during the operation, presumably a result of live depth charges or seismic activity.

The specimen was reportedly bought by "scientists" wearing dark-colored suits, who stated it was a type of deep water fish. It's whereabouts are unknown.



Update: After David pointed out in the comments that he thought this image was an art project, rather than the misidentified dog corpse I thought it was, I did a little more searching.

The original photo I nicked came from this woowoo site, where it's identified as a "reptilian" killed by a shaman. Googling "decapitated reptilian" didn't turn anything up, but after trying a number of different searches along those lines I eventually tried "chupacabra head", which lead me to this copy of the original photograph on Flickr. That identified the source photograph as being taken from Charlie White's "“In A Matter of Days", which in turn lead to this interview with the artist accompanied by a clearer print of the original, entitled "Highland Park".

I have no problem at all with repurposing photographs of alleged cryptids as props, but this isn't the case here. This was a work of art created by Charlie White, and I wholeheartedly apologize for assuming otherwise.

Classic Era Novelty Ads

More magazine ads from 1926, this time featuring a variety of novelty products from the Johnson Smith company. Click through for the high resolution version. I've been uploading these because they make good filler material for prop newspaper and magazine clippings, but this particular set of ads has some interesting history attached to it. Take a close look at that little gadget at the top.



Johnson Smith is still in the novelty business, and their website makes note of the fact that 1926 was the first year they shipped merchandise from their new location in Racine, Wisconsin. That handy little compass/mirror/telescope/binocular/firestarter pocket tool is based on originals that were manufactured in the 1800's out of brass. By the 1920's those metal models were used to produce molds for the mass production of PVC and Bakelite copies, and you can still find plastic versions based on that exact same pattern today.

Cthulhu Fhtagn! Manning Edition

Artist Timothy Michael Manning created this traditional-style Cthulhu idol. The 8" high finished piece is cast in solid bronze.

Deluxe Vampire Hunting Kit

From artist Oskar Hejll comes this impressively complete early 20th century vampire hunting kit.


I particularly like the selection of hardware. The stakes in most kits of this nature have broad, almost blunt points that need considerable force to crack the sternum, or multiple ribs, before piercing the heart. A narrow point seems more realistic, since it will naturally slip between the ribs of the upper chest. The blades are another nice touch. Staking is all well and good, but you need some heavy duty sharps for the final decapitation.


The period flashlight is a nice touch. Candles are a traditional feature, but the dampness and dodgy drafts of a typical vampire crypt aren't conducive to an unprotected flame. Even Van Helsing, the prototypical vampire hunter, was smart enough to bring along lanterns and a blow torch in Bram Stoker's "Dracula".



The one thing I think would improve this already excellent kit is more ephemera, but I'm obviously biased in that direction. Browse Mr. Hejll's site and you'll find some other interesting props, including a well done Necronomicon.

Mail Order Adventure Gear

From 1926, a vintage ad for mail order rifles and bayonets. This kind of thing makes great filler for faux newspaper and magazine clippings. Just click through for the high resolution version.


For comparison's sake, the $15 purchase price of a Krag carbine was roughly equivalent to 70% of the average unskilled factory worker's weekly salary. At least according to the wage table in this article.

Excavated Artifact

Jay King brings us this unusual item, an excavated portrayal of a Roman functionary. That's what the official documentation says, at least. Those familiar with certain obscure myth cycles may recognize the likeness of a quite different figure.

The Second Miskatonic Antarctic Expedition

The folks over at The Goat Island Project have uncovered a stash of patches and notebooks from the second Miskatonic University Antarctic expedition. Ordering information and more pictures are available at the link.



Update: In response to some emails, although I have no involvement with this project I heartily support it. One of the unique things about Lovecraft's Mythos is that it was an open source, shared world right from the beginning. I personally like material based on the existing canon, but the post-classic era is ripe for development. Frankly, the more people playing in the sandbox, the better.

Essex County Seal

Courtesy of Raven, in a comment over here, the official seal of Essex County, home to the fictional Arkham. Just click through for the high resolution version.

The Arkham Seal, Part Deux

What does the town seal of Arkham, Massachusetts look like?

That's the question I started with yesterday, driven by a desire to add a realistic touch to prop documents from Lovecraft's famed city. I could probably just cobble something together, or adapt an existing seal from the real world, and save myself a whole lot of effort. But where's the fun, much less the defining obsessiveness of true fandom, in that?

The wonderful Town and City Seals of Massachusetts provides detailed examples of the official insignia of every major municipality in the Commonwealth. Examining the seals from cities of comparable size and history to the fictional Arkham should provide us with some helpful design cues, helping the final product look as realistic as possible. We'll start off with Salem, the place most often cited as an inspiration for Lovecraft's creation.

The official seal of Salem, Massachusetts:



Notable elements include:

- A ship under full sail behind a native of the East Indies carrying a parasol. An appropriate device for a city that made it's fortunes from trade with the east.

- The dates of the city's founding and incorporation along the circumference in Latin

- The motto "To the furthest parts of the rich East", again in Latin, displayed in a ribbon device. Another nod to the city's extensive trade history.

- The dove of peace bearing an olive branch above the central shield. Somewhat ironic considering the hundreds of vessels from Salem bearing Letters of Marque during wartime.

Next we have the city of Brockton. Here's their official seal:



Notable elements include:

- The parlay between Chief Massasoit and Myles Standish at Sachem's Rock in 1649. This marked the purchase of the land where Brockport would eventually be.

- The beehive of industry.

- The globe of education.

- The electric bulb of progress. Brockton incorporated from the former Duxbury plantation lands in 1881 and was one of the first cities in the United States to be electrified.

- The two-headed snake symbol of Thulsa Doom's cult from the movie "Conan the Barbarian", directly under the beehive. I suspect this was just a decorative flourish, but it's funny to imagine the sigil of Yig being right out in the open for hundreds of years.


Next we have the official seal of Dover:

Notable elements include:

- A plain, two story meeting house, without a steeple or religious adornment. Dover broke away from the Town of Dedham so the inhabitants could follow their own path of worship in such a building.

- On the left, the town's first school house. Behind it is the highest elevation in the township, Pine Rock Hill.

- On the right, three Native Americans, the original settlers of the area. In the background is Pegan Hill, a native gathering place.

- A plow and sheaf of wheat at the top, symbolizing the town's agricultural history.

Finally, the official seal of Falmouth:

Notable elements include:

- Nobska Lighthouse, surrounded by gulls. Probably the most identifiable geographic landmark in the town.

- A plow, marking the emphasis on farming of the first settlers.

- A three-masted ship under full sail, commemorating the huge whaling fleet that called Falmouth home.

- "Suckanesset", the native name for the area, and "1602", the date the first European visited.

- A sprig of cranberries on either side of the main design.

After looking at these, and other designs from Massachusetts, I'm definitely getting some ideas for Arkham's seal. Many of the historical events that inspired the above imagery have close parallels in the history of Lovecraft's city, which should come as no great surprise. I'm going to take a few days to let the symbolism of the real seals marinate my brain and then start looking at specific correspondences with the Mythos canon. At this point I think Falmouth's seal is a good starting point to work from, since the town's history of an initially agricultural settlement that later developed into a significant seaport matches up with Arkham quite well.

The Arkham Seal

What does the town seal of Arkham, Massachusetts look like?

That's a thought that's been occupying my brain since I began thinking of doing some Arkham municipal documents. Realistically, the city should have a distinctive seal for official documents and property just like the real small cities that fill Massachusetts. Given that, the best source of inspiration for my fictional seal would be the ones used by cities of comparable size and history to Lovecraft's legend-haunted creation.

Every town and city in Massachusetts has an official seal to serve as an authenticity marking for the various forms of official paper that governments produce in abundance. Some of them date back to designs that existed before the United States was brought into existence, but the the majority were created after independence as settlements expanded and eventually incorporated. That process reached a crescendo in 1899, when the Commonwealth legislated that every municipality was required to have one within a year.

So where do we find pictures of the hundreds of seals in use over the years? Luckily, history obsessed antiquarians are more than the protagonists of Mythos fiction. The best record of the various seals in use is probably Town and City Seals of Massachusetts, a two volume set of books by Allan Forbes and Ralph M. Eastman published by the State Street Trust Company, a regional bank, in the 1950's. Back in those bygone days the books were given away as civic-minded premiums to potential customers of the bank, so it's easy to find single copies and complete sets on Ebay and Amazon.

Tomorrow I'll have some scans of interesting and inspirational examples for the Arkham seal project.

Cthulhu Fhtagn! Stanislaus Edition

From artist Justinian Stanislaus comes this absolutely fabulous Cthulhu statuette. The adorable color scheme and playfulness of the piece is enough to make me giggle like a schoolgirl in delight. Far too many artists fail to grasp the inherent sense of fun and frivolity in Lovecraft's works.










It's cute! It's pink! It has purple flowers! It's the kind of thing you'll only see here once a year. Happy April Fools Day.